btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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