My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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