this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
