i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
