When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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