my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
