Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I puked a lego.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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