hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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