i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize