...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
