i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
