we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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