If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
