Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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