hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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