i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
why do cheetos always look like penises
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
