fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
