I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize