you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
