Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
