Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
