It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
