There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
