so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
