He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
