you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
