Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize