I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
