i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my being single is dangerous.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
