its not stalking. its research.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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