we have officially lost it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
