Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
