I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
