Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
