it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
