I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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