Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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