Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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