You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
