No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
