Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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