I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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