so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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