how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
