I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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