if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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