Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
