i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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