I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
