So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
