My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
bring money and cleavage
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
