His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Is Oprah even human
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
