i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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