i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
