I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
