I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
