yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
