apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
