Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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