I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he shaved USA in his pubs
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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