We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
