Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
3pm strippers are depressing
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize