Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
